So there I was, walking through the sun-scorched streets of Turkey, the temperature a delightful 42 degrees Celsius. It felt like I’d accidentally wandered into a “Pide Oven”. I’m already sweating buckets just trying to exist, when suddenly, as if the universe decided I wasn’t hot enough, my body hits me with a full-on hot flush. Because apparently, walking around like a human rotisserie Kebab wasn’t dramatic enough.
Welcome to menopause, folks! Where your body’s internal thermostat decides to have a mind of its own, cranking up the heat at the most inconvenient moments. There I am, trying to enjoy the Turkish scenery, while my body’s putting on its own little inferno show. I’m now a one-woman furnace, sweating like I’ve just run a marathon, while everyone else around me is casually sipping cold drinks, blissfully unaware that I’m one step away from spontaneously combusting.
When Life Gives You Hot Flushes, Make Ice Baths (Because Lemonada Is Not Going to Cut It)
So, what’s a poor menopausal woman to do? First, I try to take a deep breath—if only the air wasn’t hotter than a Welsh dragon’s breath—and remind myself that I’m not alone in this sweaty struggle. Hot flushes are just my body’s way of saying, “Hey, remember me? I’m still in charge here!”
Top Tip #1: Cooling Techniques
At this point, I’m seriously considering becoming one of those ladies who carries around a fan, like I’m a character in some Victorian drama. A portable fan? Yes, please! That scarf I thought would make me look all stylish? Gone. Instead, I’m opting for anything that lets the breeze through—what little there is, anyway. And ice-cold water? Not just for drinking, my friends. It’s for splashing all over myself, because desperate times call for desperate measures. If there was a fountain nearby, I’d have considered dunking my entire head in it. No shame.
Top Tip #2: Dress Code: Survival Mode
When packing for a trip to Turkey—or anywhere that could potentially cook an egg on the pavement—my fashion sense goes out the window. Forget looking chic; I’m aiming for “not on the verge of heatstroke.” Linen, cotton, anything that breathes better than I can in this heat. And yes, I’ve got a flannel in my bag, because there’s nothing more glamorous than mopping up your own sweat in public.
But wait, there’s more! As if hot flushes weren’t enough fun, menopause also messes with your mind. Ever found yourself standing in a room, wondering why you’re there?
Welcome to my daily life. I’ve forgotten more names than I care to admit. That actor I like? The one from that movie I love? No idea what his name is. It’s like my brain has become a leaky bucket, and important information keeps slipping out.
Then there’s the anxiety. Because nothing says “relaxing holiday” like feeling your heart race just because you’re trying to order lunch in a foreign country. A simple task, like asking for directions, suddenly feels like I’m negotiating a peace treaty. All I wanted was a salad, not a full-blown existential crisis!
So how do I deal with my brain playing hide-and-seek with my memories, or the anxiety that shows up like an uninvited guest at a party?
Top Tip #3: Find the Humour
Honestly, sometimes all you can do is laugh. Like that time I tried to explain to a Turkish waiter why I needed an extra napkin to mop up my sweat. Or the classic moment I spent ten minutes searching for my sunglasses, only to find them sitting on top of my head. Menopause might be turning me into a forgetful mess, but at least it’s giving me plenty of material for a stand-up routine.
Top Tip #4: Grounding Techniques for Anxiety
When anxiety starts creeping up, I try to focus on my surroundings—the smell of spices in the market, the vibrant colours, the sound of the muezzin calling to prayer. Anything to remind me that I’m here, in the moment, and not lost in the whirlwind of my own thoughts. And deep breathing—deep enough to make a yoga instructor proud—helps too.
Top Tip #5: Lists Are Your New Best Friend
Forgetfulness is inevitable, so I’ve made peace with it by embracing lists. Lists for what I need to do today, lists for what I need to pack, even lists for what I might forget to put on my other lists. There’s something oddly satisfying about ticking things off, and if I forget something? Well, that’s what the “emergency chocolate stash” is for
In the end, menopause is like an unpredictable rollercoaster—one minute you’re cruising along, the next you’re hurtling through a loop-de-loop of sweat, anxiety, and forgotten names. But here’s the thing: I’m tough. I’ve handled life’s ups and downs, and I’ll get through this too—sweaty mishaps, forgotten words, and all.
So, the next time I’m in the middle of a hot flush, standing under the blazing Turkish sun, I’ll remind myself that I’m a force of nature. Sure, the heat might be intense, but I’m more than capable of handling it. Whether I’m fanning myself like a madwoman in a crowded bazaar or laughing off yet another memory lapse, I’m tackling life’s challenges with humour and resilience.
And if all else fails, there’s always a cold drink and a shady spot with my name on it. Cheers to embracing the journey—hot flushes, anxiety, and everything in between!
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